Installment 38th-41st
Coming home

Inst. 16th-26th

Inst. 27th-30th

Inst. 31st-34th

Inst. 35th-37th

Inst. 38th-41st

Inst. 42nd-44th

Supplement to inst. 42nd

Supplements to some inst.

Buddhist temple

Photo Page

Guest Book Page

The rest of the installments


Douangdeuane - a moon that shines
Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘Douangdeuane – a moon that shines’

Hakphaang,
Kongkeo Saycocie

Douangdeuane – a moon that shines

Getting the phone from Euay Dara
I called Euay Douangdeuane
Her sister
Setting a time to meet
I took off to her place
Half way to Wattay airport

As it turned out to be
Her place
Once occupied by her beloved dad
Maha Sila Viravong himself

I myself never been to the place
But heard a lot about it
A SamLo driver thought
He knew where it was
So we went together

Once there
Making sure
I wasn’t stranded
He kindly waited outside the gate
While I checked out the place

A young woman came to the door
Knowing who I was
She invited me in

Looking back at the gate
The SamLo driver raised a thumb up
And took off
To where he came from

Everywhere in Muang Lao
If you look hard enough
You will still find nice people
Ready to embrace you
With all Lao hospitality
The Lao of old was known of

Was told
Once inside
Euay Douangdeuane would be back soon
After bringing in a glass of water
The woman left

While waiting
I looked around the spacious living room
Decorating with all the rare and precious Lao antiques
Among them was the old elephant horn

Then prominently displayed at the center wall
Were the pictures of her late dad
Both in younger and later years

At the end of the room
B the dining table
Stood a bookshelf case
Lining up with many kinds of books
Mostly in Lao
A rare sight indeed

Enthralled and fascinated by what I saw
I didn’t even notice
When Euay Douangdeuane
Stood in front of me

A little awkward
Being caught with a wide eye
I told her
How much I admired the works of her dad
Being in his house
Among his dear possessions
Gave me an incredible feeling
Of a rendezvous with all the Lao great

Euay Douangdeuane
Always gracious
Unlike her big sister
She hardly knew me
Maybe at one time or another we met
That was a long long time ago

Still
She kindly showed me
All her dad’s manuscripts
And proudly related his life story

When we parted
She even gave me
Many invaluable copies
Of her dad’s works
And the old issues
Of PhaiNam
She highly treasured

As I came to know
PaiNam was where she started
As a writer
And came to make a name for herself
DokKed

And it was through this magazine
She came to meet Ai Outhine
Her spouse for life
Giving her two beautiful daughters

On the way to the hotel
Kindly dropped off by a young man
Raised in her family
With his scooter

My heart reminded me
I would be back
To visit her about-to-finish library
devoted to her dad
at Nam Ngum

That was at least I could do
for the man
and his family
done so much for
this uncared-for Muang Lao of thee

9.4.03

Facing my old ghost
Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘Facing my old ghost’

Hakphaang,
Kongkeo Saycocie

Facing my old ghost

Passing by to see the old Ministry
I once proudly roamed
Looking at the path
I once walked
Watery eyes
I became

How could I justify myself
Leaving the job
So promising
So much coveted?

After nearly 2 decades
I was still
Where I first started

Is this what I am getting?
For being so proud
So Lao
For so long

Hard to swallow
A bitter pill
Squeezed down my throat

If I were to be granted a wish
May that wish be
Never would I be helpless
Seeing my old country
Bled in front of my eyes
And I too bled

With one step in the gate
I faced my own ghost
Sneering at me
At what I became
At what I could be

If only
I could close my eyes
Shut off my ears
And let history bury me
Into nothingness
Will that ghost go away?
Or will I have to step forward
And come to terms with myself?

With an unbelievably heavy leg
I pulled it in
And stared my own ghost
In the eyes

Never it be
In my lifetime
I will be defeated

9.4.03

Class of 1979
Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘Class of 1979’

Hakphaang,
Kongkeo Saycocie

Class of 1979

Inside the building
Once housed the Khoa San department
Now stood the new Vannasin section
My classmate of 1979
The chief editor
Proudly occupied

Once seated
I saw myself reflected in his eyes
Yes I was once courted
To work at this information ministry
A writer on the rise
A mind to be manipulated

From what I heard
This classmate of mine did well
Schooled in the former Soviet Union
And traveled widely
Across the Eastern Bloc
And lately the Western World

As a young cadre
He did arrive!

Browsing through a pile of Vannasin copies
Stacking on his desk
I did find out
What price he had to pay
To get this high
Or maybe not

Sad to say
When I mentioned the quality of the new Vannasin
To Euay Dara its former chief editor
She just said
What could you expect?
Just look at the people
Who are in charge of it

Before I left
He mentioned
A class of ours did make it big
One in charge of a tourist industry
And not a few a key position
in both medicine and education

If only I were to stay behind
I would do no less worse
Would I?

Not a revolutionary youth member
Not the right connection
And too nationalist to start with
How far could I go?

Like the saying
If it is not meant to be
It is not meant to be
A sad thing in itself

Will this life of mine
Be destined to wander in another land?
Or will it still stand another chance
Of a late boom
In the land
So much meant to this Lao?

I just don’t know

9.4.03
A new hope - Dr. Suneth
Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘A new hope – Dr. Suneth’

Hakphaang,
Kongkeo Saycocie

A new hope – Dr. Suneth

In the main building
I walked upstairs
Looking for Dr. Suneth Phothisane
The scholar from Australia
Dr. Mayoury had much to talk about

At that time
He was in charge of
Writing an official history of Laos
From the days of old
To the present

When first met
I just told him
About my interest in Lao history
And his doctoral thesis
On Nithane Khun Borom

Maybe
He was still new to the job
Or maybe
He found me educated enough
His story telling was quite
Devoid of any party line

When asked about Maha Sila
He revered the man
For what the latter started
For what he stood for
And for the challenging task ahead

Not sure
How much the man I once met
Was still the same
He had so much to contribute
Hope power wouldn’t take him
Far away from the path he once led

Parted with a strong handshake
I looked into his eyes
And let my gaze tell the story
Stood before me was now
the new father of Lao history

Would he come close to the man
He once revered?
Or would he be just another string
To be pulled around?

I hope
We hope
He was the man
Muang Lao could depend on
Ethical passionate
And true Lao blood
To his last drop

9.6.03