"We do our best to help him but once he left, we haven't heard from him even once." A voice from the other end of the table lamented. It was of nobody else's but of Loung Houmphanh, the director of Lao cultural institute. He told that he helped the guy from the U.S. doing the research in Laos. I don't know exactly what it was. Maybe, it was something that had to do with Lao culture. The sad part was that he and his institute were doing a tremendous job for our country but they were constantly short on money. That meant many of the things they planned to do were scaled down. Some were even stalled. A year before, my friend Thip was in Laos, he wondered if my friend could get the LaoNok to supply the slide projector. This year, 1998, the slide projector was still not there.

"It is our main goal to preserve things of the past therefore we are willing to lend our hands to whoever wants to take part in this." Loung Houmphanh went on with his Muang Luang accent. By sheer coincidence or design, his last name was the same as that of Chao Phetsarath, a beloved statesman. From the little book he gave me (he wrote it himself), I came to learn that he held a high respect on Chao Souphanouvong, Chao Phetsarath's younger brother. It was odd to notice that this line of the royal family - Vang Nah (the front palace) was the energetic line. Oupahat Bounkong (vice king), the princes' father fought against Siam in order to wrestle Sayaboury from their control. Only if this line was in the throne, the kingdom of Laos might have fared differently.

"I heard that you went to the conference on Tai studies." I learned of this news from the internet before I came to Laos.

"That is right. I was just back from Kunning not long ago." Loung Houmphanh's eyes brightened when I mentioned the Tai studies. I knew that he was a nationalist who just happened to work for the current regime. In another word, he was like Chao Souphanouvong - red outside but nationalist as anyone can be inside. I used to read about his article on Lao and Thai different path of development and identity. The first part talking about Lao and Thai divergence was brilliant. The second part from 1975 up was kind of dull because he had to follow the party line.

"I told the conference that it was not right to lump Lao with Thai because we were two different groups of people. The Thai position is that the Lao are part of the Thai. They also write 'Thai' with the 'Yau' behind the word. That means we are citizens of Thailand. If they write with the word 'Thai' with no 'Yau', it will be more acceptable. At times, we can interchange the word 'Tai' with 'Thai' (no 'Yau').

I saw that Loung Houmphanh would go to any length to maintain our distinct identity. Looking around his office, I saw it adorned with all the Lao priceless stuffs namely the elephant tusk, PhaBieng, and the old Lao musical instrument such as LaNat, Gong ...

Since he was between the meetings and he was already late for lunch, I didn't think it was right to hold him any longer. Before I departed, he gave me some of the books the department had published. He also said that he would be glad to coordinate any programs with the overseas Lao for the sake of our country.

Looking back at the ex-USAID compound, I just realized that I had entered the most forbidden place. Even now (1998), I still could sense all the vigilant eyes were on me - the armed guards at the gates and the employees walking around. In case you don't know, this ex-USAID compound was also the seat of the prime minister's office. At that time, it was nobody else but the most powerful man in Laos, Kaisone Phomvihanh. No wonder when my friend, Thip, was here a year ago; he felt like he was followed everywhere in the compound. Worse, he claimed that Loung Houmphanh was closely monitored too.

Three years have gone by since I last met Loung Houmphanh. Though not in contact with him, I am all for what he is doing. Our Lao blood is what connects us in the first place, and it will continue to be so until we are able to give back the pride to the country and people we most love - Muang Lao and Quon Lao.

Of the two, I am familiar with Euay Dara more. In fact, we lived in the same block. Physically, she looked half European. With the fair skin, curly hair and tall stature, Euay Dara stood up among the groups of Quon Lao. I would say that she looked pretty for a woman her age. At that time, it was 1980 and she must be in the early forties. My reasoning was: her eldest kid was about to graduate from high school so early forty or even late thirty must be her age. By the way, what is so outstanding about her goes beyond her look. Her literary prose is excellent. I, myself, occasionally ran across her writings in PhayNam magazine which was published in the early seventy. I would say, in retrospect, that this magazine was the premiere Lao magazine. Over a quarter of a century has passed and no one even comes close. The editor of this magazine was no one else but Maha Sila Viravong himself. His many kids including the sharp-witted Ai Panai littered the pages of the magazine with their poems, short stories and articles. To me, Ai Panai's writing 'Vientiane Bane Keuth' was a masterpiece. If only there wasn't an upheaval in the country, Ai Panai would become a very strong pillar of Lao literature. I think what made PaiNam a gem to the Lao readers was the unconventional writing. People loved the satire expressed in the writing. As you know, Laos in the sixties and seventies had been undergoing dramatic changes in terms of wealth prominently displayed in the big cities especially Vientiane. With that change, you could find all sorts of people - cheaters, liars, corrupted officials, superficial folks, so on and so on. To make it complete, PaiNam also gave the readers poignant love stories and nostalgic writing caused by the sudden rush of modernization. I would say there was no other time in our country history that the writing could make the readers think like this Painam magazine. Too bad that I came to Lao literature too late, otherwise I would plunge myself in their experimental world too. I was told that PaiNam had no compelling reason to exist after the Communist take-over in 1975. That was another sad episode of Lao literature. Ai Panai left the country, presumably living in Australia now. He completely stopped writing leaving his literary genius behind in Laos. Anyone who runs into Ai PaNai, or Ai Pakian his real name, please let him know that the Lao readers badly miss his biting words.

For Euay Dara, her writing was mild compared to Ai PaNai. Still, there was something magnetic in it. What she excelled most was in poetry. Her command of the Lao language was unsurpassed. With that, she was able to paint a forceful imagery in her poem. She told me that the act of writing was like painting a picture. The more the details were, the better the writing would become. Following her advice, I wrote a short story that was as detailed as it could be. For example: when I described a visit of a main actor to his girlfriend when she had just recovered from sickness, I mentioned a bowl of porridge, a bouquet of flowers and, strangely enough one can of condensed milk. Euay Dara loved the story and told me that she would feature it in the upcoming Vannasin magazine. By the way, she was the editor of that prestigious magazine. Sadly enough, my story was never published by that magazine for the simple reason that it wasn't revolutionary enough. People above her just said 'no' to this 'reactionary' piece. No wonder Lao literature hasn't gone anywhere for the last quarter of a century. In order to produce a quality work, one must have a freedom of expression otherwise the writing is nothing but a party line. I would say that those who could work under this pressure must have been flexible and ingenious indeed. Power to them all!

One time or two, I had a chance to go to Euay Dara's house. To my delight, her house was stuffed with books. It was there that I came to know SiBurapha, a Thai progressive writer and Sulak Sivarak, a sharp-witted Thai scholar. Their writings became the model I tried to emulate.

For Euay DouangDeuane, I met her only once. That was the time I was introduced to Ai Outhine, her husband. I read some of her works which were predominantly of love stories based in foreign land. In fact, Euay DouangDeuane went to study in France and got a degree there. That was the extent I knew these two daughters of Maha Sila Viravong. In 1998, after seventeen years of separation, I went back to Laos and met these two great writers again.

Euay Dara, fresh from being the recipient of an award from Japan in regards to the preservation of the BaiLanh, was beaming with delight when she first set her eyes on me. I gave her a call a day before that I was back in Laos and wanted to see her. She told me to meet her at her new office behind the library by NamPhou. That is why I had a chance to meet her again but still, I had to wait for quite some time since she was kept in the meeting. Luckily, I met a man who was very knowledgeable about BaiLanh there. He told me about the different kinds of BaiLanh: the tasteless one from Thailand and the much-prized one from our own country. From the discussion, I felt that we, Quon Lao, were no less ingenious than any other races. These incredible BaiLanh attested to that. To those who don't know about BaiLanh, I will tell you a bit about it. BaiLanh literally means the leaves of Lanh tree. I am not sure if I have ever seen Lanh tree before. Some even said that BaiLanh was made of the tree barks. Whatever BaiLan is made from, its use is of a tremendous importance. Since the introduction of Buddhism to LanXang, BaiLanh was used to record the religious writing. As found in BaiLanh, the writing is in TuaDham or Dhamma script. There are some writings that are not religious but mundane namely the NiThane. On the office walls, you can find the locations around the country where BaiLanh was found. On the map, most of BaiLanh was found in Luangprabang since the place was less ravaged by war conducted by the Siamese. This BaiLanh preservation project was sponsored by the funds from Germany.

Getting back to Euay Dara, I noticed that she gained weight. Yes, seventeen years did change people physically. During those years, I wrote to her only once. I intended to write more when I received her postcard from Sweden. Unfortunately, she didn't write down her address over there. Besides, I lost her address in Laos too. Still, when met me again, she said that she left like she just talked to me not a long time ago. After her office, she took me to her new home at ThongSangNang. There, she lived with her kids and her mom. It was a nice one-story house with large front yards. The floor was made of a good quality wood. With the lights turned on, the floor looked shiny. I met two of her kids. They were all grown up with families of their own. In fact, it was her son, an architect, who designed the house. Her husband whom I hardly met passed away some time ago. She told me that the land she built the house on belonged to her late husband. It was their intention to build a dream house there. What a way to do it with their own son as an architect of the house.

I guess I didn't tell you that Euay Dara was appointed to be the vice president of Neo Lao Sang Xat. This organization intent was to call on all Lao to build their homeland. She knew that this organization had no enforcing power unlike the party (Pak Pasaxon Pativat Lao). Still, she felt that it was one way to help her beloved country. She also told me that before she badly wanted to join the party. It was known to everyone that if you weren't a party member, you were an outcast. The most you could do was only in the periphery. That was not acceptable to her since the fire in her wanted her to do more. Years after years, she was bypassed by the selection committee for many incredible reasons such as improper use of language, aristocratic conduct, contact with the wrong kind of people, etc… then, one day, she said 'enough is enough'. Ironically, the very year that she was awarded the prize for the preservation of the palm leaves (BaiLanh) from Japan, the party wanted her to be its member. She bluntly said something like 'go to hell with it'. She said that now the fire was not here any more. What was the use of joining the party? Just hearing this, I felt like I didn't waste my time and energy travelling half way around the world coming here. Euay Dara was a kind of people Muang Lao needed more.

Before I left, she gave me some rare Lao books either written by Maha Sila Viravong or published by her newly created publishing house, PhaiNam.

Now, for Euay Doungdeuane, she lived in the house that her father had built. It was somewhere near WatTay. Living with her was her young daughter and a young couple from Sayabury. This couple served as a cook, a housemaid, a driver, etc… the husband who dropped me to my hotel told me that he appreciated her kindness. If I remembered correctly, he said that he was in Vientiane to further his study - the same path that Ai Outhine, Euay Douangdeuane's husband, did some thirty years ago. By the way, Tu or Oudomphone, her eldest daughter was away on a study in Australia. This girl was featured in many postcards. I would say that she was truly a beauty.

From my observation, Euay Douangdeuane seemed to be more cool-headed. She spoke slowly. Each word was well thought out. Physically, she was much taller than the average Lao women. I would even say that she was taller than her husband. This gene was well represented in her daughters namely Pu. Euay Doungdeuane inherited most of the father's books. The two big bookcases around the walls contained precious books. Almost any one of them that had more than one copy, she generously gave me one. I would say that of all the items I brought back from Laos, these books - half of my luggage were more precious than anything else. Though not animated like her elder sister, Euay Doungdeuane was no less accomplised. She and her husband once came to teach Lao language at the University of Washington. She had a research book on 'Thao Hung Khun Cheuang' published. This book was well recognized by the scholar community namely the Thai. Also, she did a research on Sinh which was well done as well.

When it was time for me to leave, I felt like I met not only the pillars of Maha Sila Viravong but of Lao literature as well. As a Lao and a writer, I felt renewed and strengthened like no other time ...